Lately I have been getting 101 questions about my personal life and my partner, I am a generally honest and open person I think secrets only keep you stuck and if you have something to hide its more likely that someone can use that to there advantage.
In saying that I don’t repeat stories I have been told in confidence unless I embellish the story to a point people couldn’t relate it to someone, even then I generally don’t use stories or “secrets” that friends have told me, simply because that is not me hiding something but it also is not my place to say anything.
back to the point. I have been getting numerous questions from family and friends and people I barely communicate with about my current relationship and its status and really personal private questions and just to clarify I don’t mean personal like how often do you bang?.. I mean questions like, do you really feel like your number one because his kids come first.. you do know if you’re with someone who doesn’t have kids it would be a whole different experience or is he ever going to move for you..
I guess I should explain my relationship a little better, you may have seen in my previous dating game posts that I have answered questions on long distance relationships, a lot of those answers come from my experience with said relationships and the fact that I am currently in one. I live in Queensland Australia and he lives In Western Australia we are on totally opposite sides of the country, let me guess your thinking we met through the internet one of those unsafe cyber relationships ? sorry to disappoint we met through an at the time mutual friend who introduced us and my partner had just split from someone else when we met, he was going through a rough time and I have always loved being there and helping people out so for a while we were friends and we became pretty close, now our friends noticed this before we did but to keep it short we ended up dating. Heres the catch he has children that live in WA (western australia) and I am currently in the middle of pursuing my studies and career in social science and human behaviour so it becomes complicated with us not being in the same state.
I will admit it can be really hard at times to not have him there when I need him at the snap of my fingers but I also find that I appreciate the time we are together a lot more because of that.
We have been together for coming up two years..ages right? and people are now starting to say its serious and we should think about our futures together and blah blah blah and as I said before it seems to be encouraging a hell of a lot of personal questions.
I am writing this post/diary entry because I am kind of sick of it and have said so to the nosy people in my life however I want to chat about it incase any one else is going through anything similar. People will always be nosy and they won’t always approve of your choice in partner or path that you are taking, not a lot of people support or understand my relationship or how I manage to do it and I do try to explain it to people and it really does become a big confused mess to them. So I am going to decode my relationship and the FAQ’s regarding it, if your in a similar situation leave me a comment and we can chat and even if your not chat to me about your life too 🙂
1. do you feel like number one even though he has kids?
unless he begins to date his kids, the relationship is very different.
2. how do you cope not knowing what he is doing?
if you don’t trust your man and you are in the same state long distance will fail, if you have insecurities about cheating or trust issues (which is fine) long distance isn’t for you. I cope because I trust him and I feel 100% secure in our relationship.
3. why don’t you date a guy in your state?
well they are mostly douche bags and the ones that aren’t are either my best mate or dating other lovely women.. mainly douche bags though.
4. is he going to move here?
yes but not just because I am here, because for the career he has chosen this state has better facilities and also the life style is more fast paced that WA. it’s not all about me people.
5. how do you cope being a step parent.
I am not one those kids have both parents willing and able to look after them, I am not directly involved in their upbringing, nor is it really my business to suggest how parents should raise there children.
if you have any more questions by all means leave them in the comments I would be happy to answer any curiosity you have, I am aware my relationship is rare and different so I am fine when people want to understand it. I am not fine with people trying to tell me that it isn’t okay or it isn’t a real relationship or even that I don’t come first or put myself first because of the situation.
I love my partner we are happy and appreciative to have each other in our lives, we will one day do that from the same state and the same house I am sure of it and I am sure I will be letting everyone know but for now this works for us and our circumstances and that is why the universe entrusted us with each other.
always be grateful for the good people you have and forget the not so great ones, be yourself and do mostly the things that make you happy ( we all have to do downer things like dishes) if you do what makes everyone else happy you will only end up miserable.
life isn’t about finding yourself
its about creating yourself.
I will be back with blogmas #2 tomorrow, its all about twinkly lights 😛 if you missed it here is BLOGMAS #1