I have just entered the “official” age of adulthood, cool right? well yes I am happy that I am now taken seriously as an adult on the issue of age however there are things from my childhood that I am reluctant to let go of on the basis I think they will help me continue to grow and mature without becoming condescending and “old”.
I never want to stop learning new things until the day I die because learning something new is fun an exciting however just as visiting something done before is comforting and reassuring in times of stress. I still watch cartoons I loved as a child and I still watch cartoons full stop, some I find I could not watch on a consistent basis whilst others I think I could watch more re runs of that friends these shows from so long ago are still reminding me as an adult of lessons I can apply in my everyday life, to treat people the way I want to be treated and to dream big and achieve bigger that every person has their worth and their path, children’s television if you can stand to watch it holds great hidden messages.
to have fun I can not count on one hand the amounts of times I have been stuck in shitty weather or plans haven’t quite worked the way we wanted them too and yet we still had fun, we got over the fact that things didn’t go to plan and we found something else to do if you are with people you love and enjoy being with anything will be fun. this kind of translates into rolling with it.
I strongly believe in not dwelling on past things or regretting decisions or choices you’ve made because either way if it worked or not you got something out of it in the end;
personal story time; When I was 17 i moved out of home with a friend and my boyfriend who I had met online, it was going to be amazing no more nagging mother no more fights, I got to be an adult and I hadn’t even finished school, living off social security we managed to secure an apartment and bam we all moved in together I think the relationship lasted 2 months if that and by my 18th birthday I realised when he walked out on me to run after my friend as he always had done that he wanted her and that was the only reason he stuck around, it was really kind of humiliating what he did especially at a time when your hitting a milestone. I took my family to the apartment and I took all my stuff moved out, rang him and yelled and then never spoke to him again. at 18 years old on my birthday I was shattered hurt and crying to my family because I had reached 18 and not done anything id wanted to achieve and I wasn’t going anywhere.
the fact that I had reached that point in my life and felt completely wasted was a massive wake up call for me it took some asshole to show me that I had been to busy boozing it up and pretending everything was good instead of achieving the things id always wanted to and because of that shmuck I am the girl I am today that is achieving or striving too achieve the things I didn’t get too, I learnt a painful lesson about boys (not men) BOYS and about friendship as well though that story is for a different time. I take these experiences and I let them build my personality of coarse right after something painful like rejection or humiliation you are not going to see the lesson or the bright side or any positive outcome but whilst your undergoing your sadness and stages of coping your mind and personality are forming around those experiences and then years later when you are a supposed adult you will see the lesson and maybe even the funny side of the situation.
being a child or being childlike does not make you childish, and for those of you that have had similar situations that asshole was one of only the many you shall encounter growing up, they are all lessons and experiences and they will continue being that weather they come in gender specific roles, family members, government bodies or teachers that asshole is in your path to help you and you can chose how they do it.
I love remembering my childhood an sometimes its fun not to grow up, you can always use your childhood and memories to help you carve out your place in the present and future.
for now and hopefully always I am going to enjoy some childlike fun and wonders (aquarium)
Peace out xx